Get to the point
Posted on March 3, 2008 by simonlitton
How to annoy me (yes, I’m sure you’re all constantly searching for new ways to do this):
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Sit at your desk, talking to yourself, but in such a way that it’s unclear whether you’re really just talking to yourself, or whether, in fact, you’re secretly hoping that I’m paying attention to your stream-of-consciousness and that I will say “that’s fascinating - tell me more!”. Here’s a thought - if you want to say something to me, make eye contact, address me directly, and say something that I can understand and respond to, rather than just verbalising your random thoughts with no attempt to communicate them.
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Start talking to me in mid-thought, providing me with no context or explanation, assuming, somehow, that I was able to read your mind and could therefore overhear the preceding part of your monologue, which existed only in your head.
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Waffle, prevaricate, qualify, endlessly re-start your sentences, all the while getting no closer to the point you’re trying to make. When asked to be more specific, use words and phrase like “you know”, “the thing”, “stuff”, “whatshisname” and “oh, you know“.
Thank you for listening. I feel much better now, and I’m sure you do too.
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Hee! Were the annoying parties all women, by any chance? Because really, you know, you’re supposed to be able to read our minds at all times.
Lol, terrified of you now.
I may commit some of these crimes … best we don’t share an office eh wot
Uh-oh.
E does the first two, and it spawns many unpleasant exchanges between us.
He also “narrates” when he drives. I get to hear all his internal debates about which route to take or where to park, his thoughts on the faults of every driver on the road, his questions about what signs mean, and random observations about the landscape.
He calls all of this “thinking out loud.”
To me, it’s like verbal shrapnel.
I never know what is addressed to me, and I get exhausted and annoyed having to filter all he says.
To keep this from being a totally crabby comment, I will give him credit for NOT doing number three!
I think my most criminal act is number 2 on the list. There was a time when it was given the name ‘doing a diane’ which sounded vaguely pornographic outside the world it was invented in.
On the bright side, I think I can distract from this defect with much laughter … or not
I have to admit that number two is the one I hate the most. Nothing personal, you understand…
OK, OK, point taken.
Ah, but when you do it it’s CHARMING, Paola.
Brilliant save, Simon. Brilliant!
Oh that was funny! I laugh at Ian all the time because he tends to do #2 sometimes… he’ll start with something “So, yeah, I think that makes sense, yup, that’ll be next ” and I’m ” what was that?”. Happens at least once a day LOL! Maybe it’s a spouse thing, where he just assumes I can read his mind, or maybe just because I have this annoying habit of always interrupting him by putting words in his mouth before he says them… so I suppose it serves me right.
Yes, that is a real shame he is over there when you’re over in N. Am. He’s actually in Switzerland now, and is heading over to Brussels end of the week. Next time, perhaps.
You should consider bringing the family to Toronto sometime. It’s a great place for kids.