Taking the piss

Recently I’ve been thinking about our bladders, and not only because we’re currently potty-training our eldest child.

A recent story about an attempted kidnapping contained the following bizarre detail: “Police said Capt Nowak drove 1,000 miles (1,600km) from her home in Houston to Orlando International Airport, wearing a nappy to avoid a toilet break.” Genius.

Think of all the areas of our lives where lack of adequate (or any) toilet facilities causes discomfort – especially if you’re of the female persuasion and have to queue for half an hour even if there are a dozen cubicles. I cannot have anything to drink while watching a film in the cinema because, even if I only take a few sips and the film is less than 2 hours, I will have to go to the toilet during the film. It’s a kind of mental block. No amount of leg-crossing helps. Any other situation (e. g. a long car drive) poses no problem, but if I drink during a film, I guarantee I’ll miss five minutes at some point while I rush to the nearest convenience.

This is why we need adult nappies. In this day and age we shouldn’t be at the mercy of our bladders.
A friend of mine proposed this a while ago as a solution to the problem of excessive beer consumption resulting in the evening being interrupted by numerous time-wasting trips to “the smallest room”. With a beer nappy, you wouldn’t even need to leave your seat.

In fact, adult nappies are already gaining in popularity in some countries. I say they should be readily available in supermarkets and convenience stores. You know you’d use one if you could…

P.S. Yes, I’ve changed layout again. The last one was a little cluttered and too blue.