I spent the morning browsing through some old school reports (yes, I’ve kept them all). Looking at them now, apart from the endless “could do better, must try harder, not fulfilling his potential” stuff that at least three or four teachers mentioned every year, there are some surprising (and surprisingly pleasant) comments.
- Physical education – “Simon usually enjoys these lessons”. I was pleased with this comment at the time, but my parents warned that it may have been meant as a criticism, like I was having fun instead of trying hard.
- Written Work – “He has a good imagination and is correct but does the minimum of work” (this one is repeated, with minor variations, throughout my academic career)
- Attitude – “Simon is a talented boy who does not seem to work to anywhere near his full capacity”. Duh. Does any nine-year old? We have other things to think about, like drawing tauntauns.
- Religious Studies – “Simon could do better in this subject”. Hah! The following year – “Simon shows little interest in the subject”.
- French – “Simon has continued to work well and very cheerfully – often extremely cheerfully”. I blame the teacher, who was far too much fun.
- Music – “Simon sings well”. Nonsense.
- Art – “Simon has an interesting sense of design and colour and his handling of paint is improving. He has worked well at drawing”.
- French – “Simon has continued to make progress in his usual sprightly, sometimes impulsive manner”. If there’s one word I’m pretty sure could never be used to describe me, it’s “sprightly”.
- Music – “He has done quite well in class, though for some inexplicable reason made no effort at all in the examination, filled the paper with vulgarities and obtained by far the lowest mark in the class”.
- Biology – “His pleasant personality is particularly refreshing in class discussion”.
I won’t go into detail about what I thought of the teachers who made these comments (although I’ve long thought that it would be a good idea for pupils to be able to write reports on their teachers, for the sake of balance), but an honourable mention goes to my favourite, my French teacher Mr. Lawrence Sail, who, apart from being the warmest, most humane, funniest and most encouraging, is also an accomplished an acclaimed poet.