Talking and communicating

From a book I’ve just read, in the chapter dealing with hikikomori:

“Regular people have an ability to hide their true feelings just to be able to get along with others in the world” – and Kenji used the word tatemae to express the skill of mastering a false face. “I just can’t find the value in doing that. Since I want to tell others what I really think, I guess you could say I’m not good at communicating with people”.

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6 thoughts on “Talking and communicating

  1. rasman1978 July 1, 2008 / 11:14 am

    I suck at tatemae, so I’ll come right out and say that I’m not very fond of the bovine header you’re currently sporting. I prefer header images with a little less saliva.

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  2. simonlitton July 1, 2008 / 12:02 pm

    Sincerest apologies for saliva-induced discomfort. (*deep bow* ).
    Hoping you appreciate our new header, selected specifically for your viewing pleasure (*deep bow*).

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  3. rasman1978 July 1, 2008 / 12:48 pm

    Thank you very much. You are a kind host.

    I know you’ve just visited and are reading about Japan, but all this bowing is making me think my shoes are untied.

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  4. janetching July 1, 2008 / 5:45 pm

    Well, there is certainly difference between how Asian and Western espress themselves. Asian sometimes expect people to be able to guess what they think or how they feel but this is just not possible. I understand the Asians may not want to offense the others but this will not make life easier sometimes. I have studies abroad for years and I prefer to just express how we feel but when I returned to Hong Kong for my career, I have to act like the other chinese in order to survive.

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  5. simonlitton July 2, 2008 / 8:06 am

    Janet – the book has interviews with several people who left to work or study abroad, and then found it very difficult to fit back in at home. Many in fact didn’t go home, as they felt they couldn’t be themselves there.

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  6. janetching July 2, 2008 / 10:20 am

    Hi Simon, really. That’s interesting but not surprised. I should go to read the book too. You know when I first return to HK, my mom always think my brother and I were answering back to her and not respecting her.

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