English cuisine

From a book I’m currently reading. The author is travelling around East Anglia and has checked in to a sad little guesthouse in the run-down resort of Lowestoft:

“That evening I was the sole guest in the huge dining room, and it was the same startled person who took my order and shortly afterwards brought me a fish that had doubtless lain entombed in the deep-freeze for years. The breadcrumb armour-plating of the fish had been partly singed by the grill, and the prongs of my fork bent on it. Indeed it was so difficult to penetrate what eventually proved to be nothing but an empty shell that my plate was a hideous mess once the operation was over. The tartare sauce that I had had to squeeze out of a plastic sachet was turned grey by the sooty breadcrumbs, and the fish itself, or what feigned to be fish, lay a sorry wreck among the grass-green peas and the remains of the soggy chips that gleamed with fat.”


5 thoughts on “English cuisine

  1. Di September 30, 2008 / 5:56 pm

    Interesting …

    I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone.


  2. Norm October 3, 2008 / 10:39 am

    So firstly he’s in Lowestoft which is a run-down dump, secondly he finds the most run-down dump in the run-down dump, then he decides to eat in the run-down dump! What was he expecting? Marco-Peirre White in disguise? πŸ™‚


  3. simonlitton October 3, 2008 / 11:48 am

    I think he was expecting that if he ordered a piece of fish, it would contain, you know, FISH.


  4. Amanda October 7, 2008 / 11:04 am

    Hey Simon!
    Good luck on Thusday. Try not to lose any little children in the forest!! Hee hee.


  5. Peter October 7, 2008 / 10:03 pm

    These run-down resorts are always great when watched on TV: Fawlty Towers revisited πŸ˜‰

    But I imagine that reality bites when actually sitting there..


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