Many of you will have seen news stories recently about French fast food chain Quick’s three themed burgers featuring on their menus in February to tie in with the 3D re-release of the Star Wars prequels.
I make very occasional visits to Quick when I’m in the mood for a burger but not too fussy about quality. I’d say they’re better than McDonalds (although I haven’t been to one of those for over a quarter of a century) but not quite as good as Burger King or Wendy’s. Naturally I had to go along and see what all the fuss was about, especially as far as the black “Dark Vador” burger was concerned. This is the one which caused much “ew!”ing amongst internet commentators, despite the fact that it’s a simple matter of flavourless food colouring. I’d have been more interested if they’d flavoured it with blackcurrant, liquorice or squid ink, but I was willing to give it a go anyway.
Then yesterday I discovered to my dismay that of the three burgers, only two would be available in Belgium and Luxembourg. That’s right: those damn Frenchies were keeping the black burgers all to themselves! Quick’s French management had decided (how is not clear) that the black burger wouldn’t be so popular outside France, so we had to settle for the Darth Maul red burger and the white Jedi burger. The red one contains more pepper (because pepper is EVIL) and the Jedi one has a layer of mozzarella. Couldn’t they have gone the whole hog and made the Jedi one green? Maybe they thought that would put off customers by making them think it was healthy or contained some kind of vegetable.
Up until the last minute I wasn’t sure which one to go for. I asked for a sample of each to help me choose, but was told “Eat, or eat not. There is no ‘try'”, so I plumped for the Jedi burger.
I opened the box and what’s inside? A rather limp, plain burger with a little extra cheese.
I was inevitably reminded of this scene from Falling Down:
It supposedly also contained (midchlorian?) mustard, but the whole was distinctly bland and lacking in punch. Not that I expect a taste explosion from a Quick burger, but their standard offerings are much better than this “special edition”.
Remember, I ate this so you don’t have to.